Thursday, October 16, 2008

Diary of a Cat

Many of you have probably seen this before - it makes the e-mail circuit fairly regularly.

For some reason it really resonated when it came across my desk today, so here you go (as dictated to the human by Rex -

and Fritz.)
Excerpts from Rex and Fritz's Diary. . .

Day 733 of our captivity...

Our captors continue to taunt us with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while we and the other inmates are fed some sort of dry nuggets.

Although we make our contempt for the rations perfectly clear, we nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up our strength. The only thing that keeps us going is our dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, we once again vomit on the carpet.

Today Rex decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. We had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what we are capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' Rex is.


There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. We were placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, we could hear the noises and smell the food. We overheard that our confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' We must learn what this means and how to use it to our advantage.

Today Fritz was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of the tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. We must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

Rex is convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The old cat, Junior, receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. We observe him communicating with the guards regularly. We are certain that he reports our every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

1 comment:

  1. The pictures on your blog while
    I am gone - is torture! Please
    squeeze the boys for me today!!!
    Especially the shedding retarded

    Love, PK